We have been blessed with some rain recently.  That means we’ll be doing more of this.

Isn’t that a nice progression?  Mowing, hydrating, then putting up his feet?  Paul didn’t really mow, the machine wasn’t running, but he sure had fun helping his daddy push it around.  And, just for the truth of the matter, the last picture was taken several days after the first two.

Anyway, I am happy to report that I have been doing better.  Yesterday I felt better than the day before, and I have felt even better today.  Last evening I was energetic enough to change three dead lightbulbs after the kids went to bed.

Today, we were gone this morning.  Paul got a stitch removed from his chin (yeah, I should have blogged about that sooner.  On Friday evening, I was pushing Hannah and her cousin Emily on the swing, one of those two-seater basket deals, and Paul was walking behind it too close and it walloped him on the chin.  It was just before closing time at the pediatrician’s, so Andrew took him there and he got one stitch.  The doctor thought he needed three stitches, but it closed up so nicely after he pulled the first one tight, that he only put in one.  Even though it was only one stitch, it made me feel so badly that my little boy was hurt, had a bad cut, and he was no longer whole and perfect.  I wanted him to be all better immediately, and I also wanted to take him to the dr. myself.  It wasn’t the wise thing, since somebody needed to stay here with the rest of the kids.  Paul and I both survived just fine.) and then we swung by Gift & Thrift on the way home to drop off a donation and to check for clothes for Hannah (and we didn’t find any).  After our naps this afternoon, I noticed the grass was dry.  On the spur of the moment, I decided we could go outside.  I meant to just plant a few plants from Andrew’s mom, but I got going and weeded the whole herb bed.  It was past supper time, so I had to sqealch the urge to weed a flower bed and come inside to get our leftovers heated up for supper.  It was just perfect for being outside.  Cloudy, not hot, not cold, moist dirt to make the weeds pull easily, and I just loved it!  Part of loving it was because it is something that will stay done for a day or two (maybe even a week!) and not look completely undone in an hour.

After supper and baths, I bit the bullet and switched Paul’s and Hannah’s dressers.  Then, I drug Paul’s big mattress in Hannah’s room for her to sleep on, and I put a big thick comforter on the floor for Paul to sleep on.  I went into town Tuesday evening to pick up a mattress for Hannah.  When I called that afternoon they had it.  When I got there, they had just sold it about an hour before I got there.  Oh well!  I should have purchased it over the phone so it would be there when I got there.  Now, it will be 2 weeks before our mattress is in.  I had already taken apart the crib that morning, so Hannah has been sleeping in her Pak ‘n’ Play ever since.  It’s a little crampy for her.  That’s why she’s using Paul’s mattess and he’s on a comforter for a little bit, until the new mattress comes in.

I still have lots to do.  There are plenty of clothes in their dressers that they won’t be wearing any more, and I need to get them boxed up and back to their owners or packed in the basement if they are mine.  That is something I do not enjoy doing.  But, it must be done.

Well, I need to get some things cleaned up around here and go to bed.  The rest of the house is utter wreckage since I have neglected it for a few days.  I think it will continue to be utter wreckage for a while longer.

Here’s how I have been feeling.

Here’s what I want and need to do more of.  (Notice that he gave the critters his pillow, and he had them all in a nice, neat stack.)

Last weekend, on the 19th, my sisters and I went to PA for a bridal shower for one of my cousins.  We took Hannah with us and left Paul here with Andrew.  We had a nice time, especially riding together.  We took turns telling our most embarrassing moments, and boy was it ever exciting!  We talked about lots of other things, all the way from cloth diapers, laundry detergent, gastric bypass surgery, and exercise programs, and then even on to ghosts and the real-ness or imaginariness of them.  However, it was a long haul.  We left in the morning and came back in the evening, getting home around 9:00 p.m.  It took me until Thursday evening to recover, which means to get my energy back and not feel like I was draggin’ like a rock and wanting to sit down or sleep all the time.

Then, this past weekend, woo-hoo!  We had our two nieces over for Friday and Saturday.  One is the same age as Paul, the other is 5 mo. old.  It all worked out fine (they all slept fine through the whole night!), but we were busy over here.  And, on top of it, Hannah and I went to a baby shower in MD on Saturday (Andrew was watching the rest of the kids–they weren’t alone!).  So, I have been in recovery mode ever since.  It’s a terrible mode.  I can’t get energized about anything, and I feel like I have been overcome by the world, and I want to sit down and cry and just give up on life because it seems I will never get on top of things.  I just need some more sleep and time!!  So, I have been making myself do things whether I feel like it or not, and then taking naps in the afternoons as much as possible, and hoping and hoping this doesn’t last too long.  I am feeling better this evening, and I sure hope it lasts.  Usually, I feel fine when I first wake up in the morning, or in the afternoon, but then in a hour or two, I just want to lay down and sleep for a few hours.  It’s the nature of this lupus.  Whenever I over-do, I pay for it.  Sometimes I can skip a nap and just catch up the next day.  But that hasn’t been working lately.  So, you folks can pray that I will get my energy back soon!

This is really random.  See if you can figure this one out by looking at these two pictures.  Some of you will get this immediately.

O.k.  Here’s the scoop.  I am wearing the same dress in both pictures.  The top picture was taken today, and the bottom picture was taken on May 16th, ‘92.  That’s about 17 years ago.  (Can it be that long?)  We girls sang in a wedding, and the bride’s mother was an excellent seamstress.  She made us dresses to wear for the wedding.  I wore that dress (a little faded and worn by now) today.  I really like the dress, and it fits great and is comfortable.  I haven’t been able to wear it for a few years, either for being pregnant or nursing.  I enjoyed wearing it again today.

Thanks, all of you, for your encouraging comments and even a phone call from Orpha after my post on patient endurance.  I take Angel’s advice a lot.  There are some days when it seems like every few minutes I am praying for strength, wisdom, and energy to get through the day.  I also think Julia’s reminder was very timely.  Yes, I do have two beautiful children, and I love them very much.  It’s easy to think oh, I’ll have other children, and they’ll go through these same stages.  But, I am not promised any more children.  I had better enjoy these, and I do.

I have been having better days, since that post, for whatever reason.  I know trying times and times of patient enduring will continue to come and go.

I am considering going back to 4-east to work one evening a week.  I think I would like that, and Andrew is o.k. with it and would be with the children if I do that.  However, orientation is the biggest hurdle.  I would have to be there at least several days a week for a month or so just to get through orientation.  Now, in hindsight, which is 20-20, Andrew and I wish I had stayed on PRN working just one evening a week or something after Paul was born.  Then we wouldn’t be looking at this orientation as a hurdle.  But, I don’t know if or how things may work out.  I am praying about this, and I am very open to suggestions and input from others.  I would love to hear from those who have worked some with children, and from those who chose not to.  Does either side have regrets?  I definitely want to do what the Lord wants, and also my family is my top priority.

I used to think that I didn’t work at all because Andrew didn’t want me to.  Now that our situation is different, Andrew working from home and able to help out with our children, he says it’s o.k. if I work one evening a week, if that’s what I want to do.  Now, the ball is definitely in my court.  I am trying to way the pros and cons.  With staying home, I can see pros on the family side, and cons on the side of my profession.  In other words, the longer I am away from it, the harder it will be to ever go back to nursing.  On the side of me going back to work, I think I can see myself as more balanced, appreciating my time with my family even more, and getting a break from the endless routine monotony of housework and childcare once a week (is that called running away from the call to patiently endure?), plus keeping up my skills and having my license status as active.  And, it goes without saying, a lot of my friends still work there on 4-east.

Please pray for me as I think about these things and pray about them.  I really don’t want to have any regrets with how I made this decision (and others) down the road.  Feel free to leave comments with your views and opinions.

How many ways can I say that I love our little Paul?  He has grown up so much from the little baby that used to cry an hour with tummyaches from every feeding.  He walks around and talks excitedly about what he has just done, usually repeating it several times, be it stacking up his animals, carrying a car around in the “Boooo-ti-ful” pink scooper (a little pink Tupperware scoop), or helping his teddybear snuggle on his little blankie.

Paul also loves to sing.  He has started requesting “Amazing Grace” for his night-time song.  He also walks around here singing the parts he remembers from “Standing on the Promises”.  Andrew has been encouraging him to sing along with us.  Yesterday when we were driving up to my parents’, Paul and I sang duets a whole lot of the time.  I have to adjust the timing a little bit, but he just lustily croons it out, the whole song, and several verses of Jesus Loves Me.  Also, when he is reading a book (I don’t know what the pictures are the merit this), I hear him singing Happy Birthday to so many little critters.  Most recently when I stopped to pay attention to his words, it was “…Happy birthday Go-Go Goat, Happy birthday to you,” and then he went on to sing it to many other critters.  Also, if there is a page with evergreen trees on, he will sing “Oh, Christmas Tree” to each one.  Once, I wanted him to move on (off the potty) and tried to take the book away, but he wouldn’t let me take the book away until he had sung “Oh, Christmas Tree” to every single tree on the page (he puts his finger on the tree he is singing to).  I tell you, we do have a vocalist in the family!

Paul is also very particular.  He has in his mind how things should be, and he really wants them that way.  Once, while we were raking and gathering leaves and debris earlier this spring, I was hauling it outside the fence in the wheelbarrow.  I opened the gate and took the wheelbarrow through, and since I was coming right back through after dumping it, I left it open.  Paul immediately saw it and said, “Whoops!  Mommy forgot to shut the gate!” and ran back and pulled the gate shut.  I have never even told him to shut a gate, or that gates stay shut, or anything like that.  I guess he just saw that it wasn’t like it normally was, and he wanted it right.  Another time, Andrew and I were doing baths and bedtime.  Andrew was getting ready to put Paul to bed, and I asked Andrew to bring Paul’s wet towel out of the bedroom and into the bathroom.  Well, Paul heard that, and before he would finish the bedtime routine, he had to pick up the towel and put it in the bathroom–and neither of us told him to!  For some time now, I have known that if I can’t find something, I should look in the dirty clothes.  Paul has been known to pick up what he considers dirty laundry and put it in the dirty clothes sorter, even if it’s not ready to be washed.  So, do I have a neat-nick in the house or what?  I certainly won’t discourage him!

I will admit that our “school” fell by the wayside, especially since I read in “The Well-Trained Mind” that the most important thing to do at this age is read, read, read to them.  So, that’s what I try to do instead.  We try to read some every day.  It doesn’t always get done in large amounts, but usually we get some reading in.  Paul is always ready for a story.  Hannah has started looking at books too.  She will sit and look at a book on her own at times, which is wonderful for me.  A few days ago, Paul requested to do school at the computer, which is a little alphabet activity at  Starfall.  He and Hannah both enjoyed that.  A few days ago, just out of the blue, Paul pointed at the letters in Dr. Seuss’s name and was naming each letter, the capital ones and the lower case ones.  I was pleased with that.  So, little by little, one day our Paul will be reading on his own.  I will probably always see him behind a book after that, except when he is shutting gates or picking up wet towels.

We love our special Paul.

“I, John, your brother and companion in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Jesus, was on the island of Patmos because of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus.”  Rev. 1:9

“This calls for patient endurance and faithfulness on the part of the saints.”  Rev. 13:10b

So what’s this all about?  I know that the context of both these verses speaks of patient endurance in times of great trial and tribulation.  I usually think of that as horrendous physical conditions for the saints–starving, beheading, floggings, imprisonment, that many saints are called to endure, and have endured, the world over and through history.

But, that’s not my situation.  There are times when I have to remember I am called to patiently endure right here and now.  So many days there is whining, crying, food all over the floor under the high chair that needs swept up after each meal, noses that run and need blowing (including my own), Hannah that clings to me while I am doing whatever because she wants to stand but can’t stand on her own yet, Paul who is always (it seems) just where I want to put my foot for my next step, Hannah who cries like the world is ending if I set her down outside and walk away to go get the wash basket, children who don’t appreciate the food I put in front of them (and sometimes don’t want to eat it), a bathroom that seems like it has walls at my elbows whenever I am trying to manage both kids in there at the same time, and just on and on, the things that make me look at the clock and think “How long until nap time (or bed time)?”

Some people seem to be gifted with mothering skills and rejoice in each moment of motherhood.  There are many times I am wondering what am I going to do with my kids.  I have things I must do–do I entertain them and then rush around doing my stuff after they are in bed (which makes for a short night)?  Or, do I bite the bullet and slug through it at a snail’s pace with Hannah swinging on my skirt and Paul helping to stir, or fold the wash, or vacuum the floor?  Why is it that I often feel I could really get something done, or really enjoy this or that if it wasn’t for my kids?  That’s not the way I want to think, and that’s not the way I want to feel.

People say, “It goes by so fast”.  I believe them.  But there are so many days that get long.  There are times when I am looking forward to when Hannah can drink from a straw without spouting out milk, when Paul will tell me consistently when he has to use the bathroom, when they can bathe and dress themselves.  I’m tellin’ ya folks, it may go by fast, but it sure calls for patient endurance while it is going by.  It is not a rip-roaring, fast-buzzing party while it is going by fast.

I love my children.  I couldn’t love anyone any more, I don’t think.  It is a different kind of “tough love” that changes the diapers, that lugs around the little potties, that feeds them food even though they make a horrible mess, that lets them play in the dirt even though they bring it in on their shoes, that bathes them regularly, that helps them pick up their toys every evening, that lays aside my own desires and agendas to read stories and push swings and teach the alphabet.  This, folks, is sacrificial love.  And for the most part, it is not glamorous at all.  A lot of it isn’t even fun.  And it even hurts your knees somtimes, to crawl around and pick up toys, to be on your knees to give the baths and pick up the food from the floor.  But, I love my children, and I want to be the best mother I can be.  That’s why I keep doing it.

Some of you with more experience at mothering, and more learned or advanced in the patient endurance department, maybe you could share me your experiences, your journey in learning patient endurance and sacrifice, and in general, how you make it work, and what you do to keep going day after day when the enduring gets long.  If you do a blog post about it, just leave me a note in a comment so I can come read it.  I want to learn and I want to grow and get better at all this.

Thanks for listening, and thanks in advance for all your help and support.

happen around here, and I think of blogging about it, but sooner than I do, something else happens, and so it stacks up.  I take pictures, and then the pictures remind me of what all we have been doing that I would like to include in my blog.  I feel like I have been neglecting blogging for a little while, which has not been intentional.  Sometimes I think it is more important to live the happy times than to cut them short in order to have time to blog.  I just finished  a round of Scrabble with Andrew–he won, of course.  I felt like I did fairly well because I did not let him use all the triple word score places–I used two of them!  (Congratulations are in order, folks!  It is very normal for him to use all the triple word score places.)

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous these last two days.  Today was even up to 70 degrees, I think.  It was warm enough outside I let the kids be out there with just two shirts on.  For our outside time today, we hung up some wash (and got it down in the evening) and pulled some weeds in the front flower beds.  Hannah would be delighted (so she thinks) to sit there and eat dirt.  I don’t let her.  I do let her suck on some rocks.  Paul likes to go along and pick up all the border rocks and throw them into the middle of the flower bed.  I just make sure he doesn’t crash them down on any of my daffodils which are still blooming beautifully.  Before we came in for supper, I went along and placed them all back in a line at the edge.

Yesterday evening, we took a walk after the kids woke up from their naps and before supper.

We stopped to look at the field of sheep near here, and Paul sang “Baa, Baa Black Sheep” to them.  It was so cute!  We wished we had the video camera along!  Oh, you may wonder about the little car.  A couple in our church gave it to Paul and Hannah.  It used to be their grand-daughter’s.  Paul loves it and thinks it is his alone, but I make him share it with Hannah too.

Backing up in time a little bit, on Easter morning, Andrew had Paul and Hannah hunt for their Easter baskets.  Andrew remembers how his dad hid Easter baskets for each of the kids when they were growing up, and the older the person, the more difficult his or her basket was to find.  So, Andrew employed that strategy for Paul and Hannah.  Hannah’s was in the middle of the living room floor, so she found it as soon as she crawled out there.  Paul’s was on the loveseat, which meant he had to go out into the living room and turn around a look back toward the kitchen to find his.  It took him a few minutes to find it, so we think it was appropriately hidden.  They both loved them!  They got to eat a little candy right away, but the most of it was eaten over this week, a little for dessert after meals.  The hollow chocolate bunny rabbits were saved until after a supper and right before a bath!

Hannah just loves her daddy.  She would be hanging on his knee 24/7 if she could.  And I think her daddy loves her just as much.  Whenever he’s around, she is right there within a few inches of him, and she keeps her eye on him to make sure he doesn’t get away.  Here’s a picture of her snuggling with her daddy.

Last week, I went into Paul’s room to get him up from his nap.  He was already awake and playing quietly on his bed, which is his usual.  He was stacking up his critters!  Nowadays, instead of having everything in a nice row, he is more likely to stack them up in a “tower” or “pile”.  He even carefully balances a little shampoo bottle on top the rubber ducky’s head!  He will wear two hats on his head.  Anyway, I took some pictures, and I also took some pictures of our beautiful Hannah, to show you how she looks when she wakes up.

Ahh, last weekend, Andrew did his most disliked chore of mowing the grass for the first time this summer.  I took some pictures.

Even though he dislikes it, and I really don’t mind mowing grass, he says there is no way he is going to let the neighbors see his wife mowing the lawn.  So, ever since we got married he mows the grass.  I do some weed-eating sometimes, but I haven’t used the lawn mower (though I have been sorely tempted at times, since Andrew and I don’t have the same opinion on how often to mow the grass).

This is our bookworm.  He somehow took the idea to go through a whole bunch of books for a while, and he would dig out lots of them to read.  This is how I found him one day.

In the lawn-mowing picture you may have noticed that my pea fences are up in the garden.  One day Paul and I just got out there and put them up.  He helped by holding the posts up until I could get the post pounder put on them and get them started.  I forget how I ever did it by myself, but it seemed impossible for me to do it without him holding those posts for a minute for me.

Once I got started putting up the fences, he loved running up and down between the rows.  He still enjoys doing that.

Believe it or not, one morning in April we woke up to a heavy dusting of snow.  Paul really wanted to go outside to play in it a little, so Andrew helped him go out for a little bit.  Needless to say, it soon melted away.  I got a couple pictures before it did, though!

Every spring a big circular patch of purple grape hyacinths bloom in our yard, up near the road.  It is fun for Paul and Hannah to play in them.  Andrew spares them the lawn mower until they are done blooming.  It’s also really neat to take pictures of them in the flowers.

One afternoon, right after lunch, Paul, Hannah and I went up to our flower patch and sat down and blew bubbles for a little while until it was nap time.  That was really neat.  It’s a little bad that they are so close to the road.  The kids can’t be at the flowers unless we are right there with them.  But, we enjoy them as best we can.

Ooooo, this next one was a little while ago.  I think it was exactly three weeks ago today that we made a trip up to the ranch and visited Great-Grandma Gardner.  It was one of the few times I have been there without Andrew since Hannah was born.  I was busy!  We took sandwiches and stuff for our lunch, and we had  lunch with Grandma.  Then, we trimmed her toenails.  Paul and Hannah had a good time, as usual.  The challenge comes when Paul doesn’t know what’s on limits and what’s off limits, and I just so often look up and see him getting into an off-limits thing and have to tell him to put it back, close that door, or whatever.  I feel like I need about two clones in those situations.  Definitely another lab and another set of hands.  That’s why we try to do these things when Andrew can go along.

Here is Paul sitting on his great-grandma’s “bicycle”–as he calls it.  It’s her rolater walker that she uses to get around.

Hannah is still little enough to enjoy sitting on her great-grandma’s lap, at least for a little bit.

This is Paul giving his great-grandma a hug.

There you have a little window into the last couple weeks, when I haven’t posted much on my blog.  Hopefully I can get in the blogging gear and give you more neat insights from time to time, and not wait three weeks!

I was just over at Miriam’s blog, and she mentioned they had some Chinese take-out, and it had been so long since she had had that.  Knowing they love Chinese food, I must post this recipe I made tonight.  It’s called Stir-Fried Chicken and Rice Noodles.  Of course, I used Dreamfield’s pasta spaghetti noodles (low-carb pasta!  Yay!), and I used Spenda for the sugar, but man, oh man!  It was a delicious dish, and one I’m going to repeat.  And, it’s really not that hard to make.

Here it is.

Stir-Fried Chicken and Rice Noodles

2-1/2 tsp. cornstarch

1/3 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce

1/4 cup white wine or reduced-sodium chicken broth (I used Marsala wine because that’s all I have right now)

2 tsp. sesame oil

1-1/2 lbs. boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch cubes

1/2 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth

2 Tbsp. sugar

1 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce

3/4 tsp. chili powder

3 oz. uncooked Asian rice noodles

4 tsp. canola oil, divided

3 cups fresh broccoli florets (I used a bag of frozen stir-fry vegetables I had in the freezer)

2/3 cup chopped green onions (I used regular onions because I didn’t have the others)

3 garlic cloves, minced

2 tsp. minced fresh gingerroot (I used powdered ginger)

1/4 cup unsalted dry roasted peanuts (I omitted this ingred.)

In a bowl, combine the cornstarch, soy sauce, wine or brother and sesame oil until smooth.  Pour 1/4 cup marinade into a large resealable plastic bag; add the chicken.  Seal bag and turn to coat; refrigerate for 20 minutes.  Add the broth, sugar, Worcestershire sauce and chili powder to remaining marinade; set aside.

Cook rice noodles according to package directions.  Meanwhile, drain and discard marinade from chicken.  In a large nonstick skillet or wok, stir-fry chicken in 2 tsp. canola oil until juices run clear; remove and keep warm.

Stir-fry broccoli in remaining canola oil for 5 minutes.  Add the onions, garlic and ginger; stir-fry 3-5 minutes longer or until broccoli is tender.  return chicken to the pan.  Stir reserved broth mixture and stir into pan.  Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened.  Drain noodles; toss with chicken mixture.  Garnish with peanuts.

Yield: 6 servings

Nutritional Analysis: 1 cup equals

293 calories

10 g fat (2 g saturated fat)

63 mg cholesterol

498 mg sodium

22 g carbohydrate

2 g fiber

27 g protein

Diabetic Exchanges:

3 very lean meat

1-1/2 starch

1-1/2 fat

I hope you all enjoy this stir-fry as much as I did.  You may notice that per my menu we were going to have orange-glazed chicken tonight.  Well, I discovered I don’t have any orange juice.  So that will have to wait until I get some.  That’s why I was scrambling for another chicken & vegetable stir-fry recipe.

On a side note, I think Dreamfields pasta is the greatest thing for diabetics.  I am so happy it exists.  So far I have not found it at Wal-mart, but it is at Kroger.  Also, when I was at Krogers on Sat., I found this CarbMaster yogurt–4 grams of carbs in 6 oz.!!  That’s amazing.  I got one of each of the two flavors they had to try it.  The one flavor I didn’t like so well, but I just had the strawberry pomegranate flavor, and it is very good.  So, if you need to watch carbs, just get the strawberry pomegranate one.

Paul loves to go to Kroger because they have car carts.  Here’s a couple pictures from Sat.

We had a family date and went to Kroger, and then, for the first time in nearly a year, we went to Cici’s Pizza for supper.  In my pre-diabetic days, we loved going there and eating their pizza.  I was brave enough to say yes when Andrew suggested it.  I just ate a lot of salad and chicken-noodle soup with mostly broth, and as much pizza as I thought was safe for my blood sugar.  I sure enjoyed the pizza that I ate!  It is still as good as it ever was.

We had a wonderful Easter Sunday.  We got together with Andrew’s family.  We were there pretty much all day after church.  Paul had a fantastic time playing with new toys and his cousins.  Hannah enjoyed herself too.  The Lord sent us some beautiful weather, and after the afternoon naps, we enjoyed being outside and watching the kids play.  The grass is so beautiful and green right now, the weeds haven’t really come in the garden, the mosquitoes and gnats aren’t out yet,  and everything seems almost perfect.  Here are some pictures of our evening.

Hannah & Emily

Paul & Steven

Hannah bouncing with Daddy’s help.

Emily & Paul, Paul thought this little cart was

a vacuum cleaner!

Andrew & Hannah and family

Emily

Hannah

Well, after enjoying a week of little cooking–I till had to boil potatoes for Hannah, cook some vegetables, and so on–I will be back into the cooking realm this week.  I am thinking I will be restocking my freezer for lighter cooking weeks, or non-cooking weeks in the future!  I have enjoyed this!